I do not like rollercoasters. I'm not one of them adrenaline junkies. I'm a girl that likes to have a nice, safe, predictable life. So the fact that my mind is currently on some insane rollercoaster is not my idea of a good time. My mood has been up and down like a yo-yo, only now its starting to slow down, staying down and when it goes back up it never gets quite so high anymore.
This crazy rollercoaster started off with happiness at someone caring enough to give me an interview... it then dropped a bit because I figured I've never had a job before so why should this time be any different. Back up for a short time after I booked my train tickets to London but then rapidly back down when fear set in. And the fear remained for quite a few days, it didn't go away until I had left the interview, when my mood reached a new high. They loved me, they said I was the best applicant so could my search finally be over? But then of course, my mood swiftly dropped when her words started to echo around my mind, I'm over-qualified and is my heart in it, especially for a year. And since that final drop, the yo-yo has been really hard to get back up again. Any mention of the job by anyone and I just want the conversation to change, I don't know whats going on in my head so I can hardly express my unknown feelings to everyone else. And then yesterday I thought I had pretty much decided that this was not the job for me, I had made up my mind. My heart had won the battle, I was going to carry on searching for my dream. Praying that something that could make me happy would come up.
And so then today it was back to job hunting, back to the soul destroying task of applying for job after job and just being ignored. Do I really want to put myself through it all when there might be a way out? Would I rather be miserable searching for a job, praying that someone takes an interest? Or would I rather be miserable in a job I don't want but is in London, pays well and is at least a job. Well only time will tell if they offer me the job, then its the time when I really need to answer this question that has been on my mind for almost a week now. Hopefully some words of wisdom from my best friend will give me the answer I need.
