When I was young I just wanted to be a grown up, I wanted to grow up fast.  And looking back, I did.  I can now see why adults tell children, teenagers especially, not to grow up too fast because I may be only 22 but I'm already wishing I could turn back time and be at school again.  Although, I would like to turn back time on my own terms, because I'd rather be back at school as the person I am today.  I didn't really like school that much.  Well I did, I was a total geek, I loved school for the learning.  But for the social aspect, although I wasn't the biggest loser, I had some amazing friends, but I certainly wasn't one of the popular ones.  So if I was to turn back time I certainly wouldn't want to be the Victoria of yesteryear, the girl who lived in trackies, had bad hair and at the age of 14 got bullied for having a fat arse.  Now, I did not have a fat arse, my arse has not miraculously shrunk... it certainly isn't fat now, or so my boyfriend tells me... but boys are mean.  Very mean.  Its the downside of being young, small things hurt and once something is said everyone seems to jump on the bandwagon.  I remember when I was 11, they had been making me spin the skipping rope all break and wouldn't let me have a turn so I threw it down and walked away crying, I went home and cried to my mum so she went in to school and the next day everything was fine.  So I suppose that is a plus side of youth, things pass by quite quickly. I wasn't the girl with the fat arse for long.  But the mean things children say can really hurt at the time, and as I'm now 22 it would seem these things have a lasting effect.  Now having reminisced about these stories why do I want to be young again?!  Youth is full of innocence and hope about the future.  Just to be 15 again, dreaming of being a successful career woman with the perfect husband living the perfect life.  It sounds better than acutally living the life as an unemployed graduate cast out in to the job market in a recession where more people are losing jobs than finding them.  And although I have been lucky enough to find a perfect boyfriend he lives 100 miles away.
But would I be this same person?  The hard-working girl who got herself good GCSEs and A Levels from a school that hundreds of children can only dream of going to, then got herself a good degree and amazing life-long friends if I hadn't had the 'perfect and popular' childhood.  Back then I used to wish for my future, now I look back and wish I could be young again.  Am I just too hard to please?  Why is the present never good enough for me? Will I ever just be happy just where I am, doing what I'm doing, and who I'm doing it with?  I like to think so...  And hey, where are the popular ones now?  I know that a lot of the junior school ones ended up teenage mums.  And the high school ones, the boy that said I had a fat arse piled on the pounds when he discovered drink and drugs, and the rest of them, well popularity doesn't really exist so much in the real world, so they are just like me!