Still not feeling up to the website task today, so I just didn't even bother attempting it. I've found it hard enough to get out of bed this week [not because I am tired or lazy, I just having bi-polar whispering to me telling me there is no point in getting up, there is nothing to do] so convincing myself to sit in front of my PC all day is becoming quite a task in itself.
I didn't want to sit around like a lazy slob though. So I tidied. I tidy a lot. It focuses my mind and makes me feel much happier in my environment. Judging from today's cleaning though, you would think I hadn't done it in years. I store things. Like a child, when mother tells you to tidy your room, everything goes under the bed. EVERYTHING. I had magazines dating back to 2005 under there. For a girl with dust allergies, its a surprise I'm not dead with the amount that was collecting under there. And how I didn't find a colony of spiders [not even one] under there is beyond me! Having reduced my magazine collections [because lets be fair, no matter what I told myself I was never going to read them again] I cleared out many hideous shoes and moisturisers that would probably bring me out in a rash they were so old. Then came the hardest part... the CD collection. In the age of the MP3 I do not know why I still feel such an attachment to my CD collection. Why do I feel the need to keep countless boyband albums? Having questioned this over and over I began the difficult task of parting with my beloved CDs, Westlife and Take That [and a couple other lucky ones] being the only true survivors in my life. The book collection followed, with titles such as 'Six Reasons To Stay A Virgin' and 'Girl Meets Ape' finally moving on to a new home. With all this mess being hidden around my room under the bed and in countless drawers I can see no real change to my room but I feel so much better, and [metaphorically] lighter, for ridding myself of so much unnecessary junk. The charity shops are going to LOVE me!
I havn't exercised today. I like to give myself a day off from it every now and again, a way of trying to convince me that I'm not so obsessive about it. All the tidying and dragging things down 2 flights of stairs today has more than made up for my lack of bouncing and thrusting about though 
"Bringing a child into the house is the greatest act of hope there is"_ Louise Hart
So the cure to my hopelessness at the moment is a baby? Not overly sure that is going to do the job.
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Dusty sneezes_ 223,542,765
